Lost Keys

I HATE to lose anything.  It drives me mad when I can't find something.  Typically, I am very organized and when something goes missing I can find it in under an hour.  Meatball on the other hand can mutter about finding his wallet for days!  the wallet that has his bank card in it for crying out loud.!!  Some of you may know how I lost my keys this Summer.  It was right when we got back from Disney and we were installing all new landscaping.  I was about 7 or 8 months pregnant, it was extremely hot and I had made 2 trips to home depot and 2 trips to two different nurseries that day.  I was miserable to put it mildly.  Long story short my keys were gone.  I searched everywhere for days.  After a week I had completely given up.  And then driving, I spotted that hot pink Disney charm and my keys hanging on a light pole 2 streets from my house.  I was so freaked out!  But then I realized someone had probably found them and just hung them there.  I probably left my keys on the bumper and when Steve ran to McDonalds that night they must have slid off near that corner.  Anyway, I find now that I have 3 little ones 5 and under I lose shit all the time!  I found a cute product from a company called RuMeID.  They sell tags for keys and luggage and they are cute.  Hello Chevron people. 

Anyway, if someone finds your keys they can go to their website and get a hold of you.  But they can't see any of your personal information because it is through third party.  Now I just need a GPS for my cell phone that I am constantly misplacing around my house. 

Maybe it's too early

to tell but I went back to work and I think I am going to hate my new job.  I got a locker!  No its actually not that exciting.  I couldn't open the damn thing for 10 minutes and had to ask another nurse for help.  Felt like I was back in high school, although in HS I wouldn't have been trying to get my breast pump to fit in the smallest locker ever!  I got the corner locker and it is a wee bit tight.  I changed into my not so flattering XS unisex scrubs.  The pants are so long I have to hike them up to my bra or I will slip and fall on the backs of them.  Off I go to the freezing cold OR.  After getting lost like 4 times.  I should mention I have no sense of direction.  Steve laughs because every time we leave a movie theatre I turn the wrong way.  I couldn't find my way out of a cardboard box.  It's especially hard working the OR because there are no windows to orient you as to where the hell you could be.  My preceptors are very nice (thank God) and the smells and sights of the OR didn't bother me at all.  Maybe it was a good thing I stopped and had that egg mcmuffin and coke on the way into work.  My preceptor told me her last 3 students passed out.  I never felt the slightest bit sick and I saw some major stuff that first day.  This job is not conducive at all to breastfeeding so that sucks.  I was engorged the entire day and ended up pumping on the locker room floor in a shower stall.  So what does an OR nurse do?  I had no clue.  The only time I was in an OR was when I was a patient and I was asleep. 

Basically, you are a gopher.  You have to prepare the room and count all the instruments with the scrub tech, meet the pt. and make sure they understand their surgery and that the consents are signed. Once the case starts you have to go and get the Docs anything they need.  Which literally could be 1 of 3,759 items.  I'm exaggerating but only by a little.  There are tons and tons of things they could need and unless you know exactly where it is, Good Luck.  And even if you do know where it is and you go and get it in 5.7 seconds it' still took you too long because these surgeons have no freakin' patience!  You are answering the phone, calling the blood bank, entering orders and getting orders barked at ya' every 2 minutes.  You are also entering in the computer everything used and writing it own on your papers with the counts. The counts are super duper important!  I'm sure we have all heard horror stories of things getting left behind.  So to get an accurate count you need to get a little dirty.  Dirty meaning putting on an arm glove and going through the bloody surgical garbage and counting pads and sponges.  All in all it's a pretty good time (I'm kidding) But I should mention the pros seeing that are only 2.  The XS scrubs I take and there's no need to do your hair because you have a cap on.  Did I mention how cold it is?  Nose sniffling cold.  I need a new job!  

All kidding aside, I am thankful for OR nurses.  They are very important especially when it is your loved one on the table.  I am just not cut out for it.  I already miss the patients and you need to be very assertive to be an OR nurse and I am not.  I hate confrontation.  And I really don't want to work with surgeons  Sorry to my surgeon friends but you must know how you or some of your friends behave themselves.  I have toddlers at home for crying out loud!  I don't need to have that crap at work.              

Back to Work

I am seriously dreading it.  It doesn't help that I'm headed back to a new job that I know nothing about.  And back to 12.5 hour shifts.  I got bumped to the OR.  Yay to never buying scrubs again.  Nay to freezing cold temps and guts.  I'm basically terrified.  I don't like the idea of being unavailable or stuck in a case for hours and hours while my boobs fill up.  (still breastfeeding)  So I am worried about getting mastitis because I still have a lot of milk.  I actually have a night job but will be training for 6 months on days.  If I hate it I will be bidding out on just about anything.  Who knows maybe the big house?  I'm also scared that papa won't be able to handle everybody back home.  I am going to try and make his job as easy as I can.  I will have Brady's lunch packed and ready, his clothes laid out, diapers all washed and ready, breast milk thawed.  But it's still a lot.  Men aren't good at multitasking.  And taking care of everybody is a juggling act.  Not to mention papa has been having trouble with his sugar lately.  I am going to try and enjoy the last 3 days of my leave and not stress.  But I have been praying this all works out!   

Parenting

Parenting is the hardest job I have ever had Period.  There are so many times I question if I am doing the right thing.  I read books and magazines and ask my mom for advice all the time.  You want to give your kids the world within reason of course.  And you want them to turn out happy, kind, generous, hardworking men.  Most days I think I am doing great, especially when I hear the please's and thank you's.  Or when the boys are sweet to each other and share.  And then there are those moments when you wonder if you are doing anything right. 

I took all 3 boys to Wegman's on Monday because it was a Holiday.  Brady wanted to go to Wkids and who am I not to let him. Alright I admit I just wanted to shop with 2 kiddos.  I bought Pierce a glazed donut (a bribe if you will) and he didn't even try and get out of the cart once.  Winning!  So after making it through the entire store with both kids behaving and no crying from the baby I as pretty pleased with myself.  I thought I would swing by pick up Brady and take the boys to lunch.  As soon as Brady saw Pierce's donut he said "Where's my donut, I want a donut." Thinking this was no big deal I told him I didn't get him one because he was in Wkids.  But we were going to go to lunch.  He declared well I want to eat here.  I couldn't really eat at Wegman's because I was wearing Reid.  His carrier was in the car and I wouldn't have any where to put him and enjoy my lunch.  Trying not to drop food on the infant strapped to your chest is no fun.  So I said no but we can go out.  To which Brady declared I was a bad mom.  How Nice!  Of course all of this was in front of a whole bunch of other moms and Brady wasn't being quiet about it.  I was embarrassed and upset by his comment.  I know you shouldn't take your kids behavior or words personal but I do all the time.  I try so hard and when they act bratty it just makes me crazy!  I can remember growing up and wanting things: Nike sneakers instead of LA Gear, red jeans, a rainbow slushie at the circus.  I didn't get these things and I remember.  I try and give my kids what they want but I want them to appreciate it.  It's so hard to decide where to draw the line.  Brady's not perfect and either am I.  I'm trying not to focus on this ugly moment. Because after the ugly moments usually come the beautiful ones. 

The next day Brady was struggling with picking his snack helper.  He told me he wanted to pick John but didn't want Joshua to cry.  He said he hates when Joshua cries because he his best friend.  I was so proud of him for caring about other's feelings and being empathetic.  It almost made me forget the Wegman's incident  Almost.      

I gave away the dog.

I was hesitant to post this but I promised myself I would be honest in this blog of mine.  So that means the good, the bag and the ugly.  (well I am not actually going to post any ugly pics of myself but you get the drift)  Now back to our beloved dog Buttercup. 

I am a sucker for yellow labs especially when they are puppies.  I got Buttercup when I was a single lady living in a 2 bedroom house in Tonawanda.  I had just started dating Steve.  Actually he came over the first night I got her and she took to him right away.  Buttercup was a handful right from the start.  I couldn't even leave her in the car without her chewing cd's or a wire for the ipod.  I hired a dog trainer to the tune of $1200 because I was sick of her bad behavior.  The dog trainer would come once a week and give me homework.  I used the prong collar and walked her everyday.  And she did get better.  She was still a barker, would still pee and poop in the house, eat shit (literally) she wasn't supposed to and generally be a huge bonehead.  But she was sweet!  Steve and I have had Buttercup for 7 years.  I probably have a million stories of stuff she ate and stuff she did to piss me off.  The story of the 2 1/2 pounds of grapes, an entire dish of chocolates, bars of soap, 2 dozen cupcakes with the foil liners or grass, lots and lots of grass.  Or my particular favorite 20 chicken wing bones.  And yes my husband ate those 20 chicken wings in 1 sitting.  That night we were on deathwatch but she made it.  I may have accused him of trying to off my dog when I was at work that day.  And let's not forget her affinity for a stick of Butter left on the counter while I was baking.  I lost track of how many times I had to run to the store.  And since we are putting it all out there with this post, Butter also ate human feces.  What can I say she's an animal!  They belonged to Brady when he was potty training and finished up in the living room instead of on the potty.  We potty train without pants in his house.  Even the vet has been waiting for her to calm down after he almost gave himself a rabies injection.  Buttercup liked to puke on the carpet at 3:30am.  Never during the day and never on the tile or hardwood.  Steve was her favorite and then all the boys.  She loved to steal food from the boys.  Can't tell you how many times that ended in tears.  But we loved her and her stinky tostito smelling paws. 

I still love her but she just caused me so much extra work.  She became one extra thing I had to take care of and no one should feel that way about their dog.  Giving her a bath 9 months pregnant was never fun.  Or taking her to the vet with all these kids.  I started keeping her in the heated garage because she would steal the boys food all the time and I got sick of it.  So when my dad offered to take her I jumped at the chance.  I would know she was in a loving home and getting well taken care of.  I would even get to see her on Holidays.  It seemed like a good opportunity.  My dad has been taking her to the park and to the pet store.  He loves that she's happy to see him when he gets home from work.  I think someday maybe we will get another dog but probably not for another 10 years.  I do miss her especially when I see one of those sad commercials.  But not her antics.  Hope you guys don't think I'm awful.  Hey Cliff and Buttercup are happy. 

It Snowed!

And I am all sorts of in the mood for Christmas! 

Meatball and I went to the Christmas in the Country craft show.  We got each one of the boys an ornament.  It has become a tradition.  I don't even want to think about the day that I will have to box up those ornaments so they can put them on their tree. Luckily, I think I have a few years :)  And we got a little name puzzle for Reid.  They actually had his name so we had to buy it.  It was a sign right?  And then last night it snowed.  I am so in the festivus spirit this year.  Why not play a little Christmas music in the morning.  I created a Christmas playlist on my ipod 3 years ago.  Does anyone else feel like a total tool when they do this?  It's the equivalent of making a mixed tape in the old days.  But it has become a tradition for Meatball and I to have Christmas morning brunch at our house.  And you know my feelings on awkwardness so a little background music is like social lubricant.  It got me thinking how my tastes in Christmas music have changed over the years.  Now don't get me wrong, I love a little Britney at Christmas time but she was never my favorite.  My favorite Christmas song used to be "Happy Xmas (War is Over)" by John Lennon.  Then it changed into "Holy Night".  When sung by the right person that song gets me.  However, at the ripe old age of 34 my new favorite Christmas song is "O Come All Ye Faithful".  Can I recommend Sara Evans version to you.  It is amazing. 
      
http://youtu.be/W193f-0zaow

And now for the song I hate the most.  Feliz Navidad.  I blame the Christmas Parties in high school.  Those language teachers loved that crappy song and used to put it on repeat.  It's their fault. 

I can't wait to let Brady stay up and watch our favorite Christmas movies.  Somehow our DVR deleted the Caillou Holiday Movie and Mickey's Christmas Carol.  And Brady has already asked to watch both.  So you know what DVD's Santa is bringing us.  Thankfully, he settled on The Grinch.  And every year Meatball and I watch National Lampoon's on Christmas Eve together with Hot Chocolate before we set up the tree.  I feel I should be honest here.  I have been pregnant the past 2 Christmas holidays so I have been asleep while Steve set-up the tree with gifts.  He's better at it anyway!   

Am I really crying over this?

Yup, Reading Tori Spelling's new book and crying like a baby - Really Kate? 

Some of you may know I am obsessed with the original 90210 but Donna Martin wasn't my favorite.  That whole Donna Martin graduates episode I actually find quite annoying.  But I did like watching Tori & Dean' reality show and have read her previous 3 books.  I do find her refreshingly honest in her books and they are a quick read.  So there I was reading her book "Spelling it Like it is" and sobbing.  Some of you may not know but I had placenta previa with my 2nd pregnancy.  I had my first check-up with Pierce around 9 weeks and they told me everything looked great.  I, of course, breathed the huge sigh of relief after hearing his heartbeat for the first time, like all moms.  About 2 weeks later I started spotting.  I grabbed TWTEWYE book (the bible for first timers) and it stated spotting can be normal throughout a pregnancy and felt satisfied.  I did notice the spotting seemed to get worse when I was carrying in the groceries or putting Brady in the truck but chalked that up to the physical activity.  After working a 12 hour shift I noticed it was a lot of spotting so I called the Dr.  I went in for an ultrasound around 14 weeks and was told again everything looked great.  The Dr. said the blood was coming from my cervix because it was ulcerated which I guess can happen sometimes in pregnancy.  I kept spotting and went back in at 18 weeks for another check-up and was told I had placenta previa.  Now mind you I apparently had it at the 14 week ultrasound after another Dr. actually read the ultrasound but no one called or told me.  I was mad at first that I was walking around for the past 4 weeks doing everything I wasn't supposed to in danger but then reality kicked in and it didn't matter.  I made it the past 4 weeks and I needed to focus on the future and how uncertain it was.  It doesn't matter how much you know about pp from nursing school.  When they tell you, you have it, the shock makes you forget everything and I mean everything.  Dr. B told me no lifting, pushing, pulling, standing too long, vacuuming, etc.  He warned me that if I did these things, I would bleed.  In my mind I thought ok I will wear a pad the next time I vacuum.  Because that's how us moms are, we think we are invincible.  And lets be honest, the dirt doesn't wind up in the garbage or groceries in the fridge without us.  He could tell I wasn't getting it and then he told me "you will fill your shoes!" Huh? With blood? Oh ok now I get it.  Guess he needed to get graphic to get me to understand and yes he totally did.  So I stopped contemplating vacuuming and called Meatball and my mom crying.  I left the office that day completely stunned and with a note for sedentary duty, not even light duty.  The company I work for did accommodate me and let me push some paper, start IV's (which I got very good at it) and still collect my nurse salary.  But I lived in fear for the next 21 weeks.  I would especially worry at work.  Mainly because I didn't want to make my coworkers angry that I wasn't doing what they were doing and getting paid but also that the bleed would happen there.  I didn't really want to make scene with the males I worked with.  I did go see a specialist to rule out placenta accrete which is by far even scarier and thankfully I didn't have that.  Although I never suffered a major bleed I did continue to bleed (a little) the entire pregnancy which served as a reminder not to do too much.  Tori talked a lot in the book about her experience and how she had 11 major bleeds, put on bedrest and was in the hospital for months.  It made me cry, sob in fact, because I realized how thankful I am for getting through that and ending up with my little Pierce.  And also because I went ahead without thinking and got pregnant again when the odds were that I would have pp again and be at risk for all the same stuff.  God was looking out for me and made my placenta cooperate.  And I am ridiculously thankful he did.  So crying with Tori, yup it happened.         

A Day in the Life

Of me!  I am writing this post so I can look back and remember what a typical day was like for me on maternity leave with all the boys. 

Wake up between 6:30 and 7 am.  Lay out Brady's clothes for school that day.  Bring everyone downstairs (2 trips) and immediately change diapers.  Bye bye disposables, hello fluffy cloth.  Feed Reid at least one side and make him happy.  Put baby in bouncer chair and pack Brady's lunch.  Make breakfast, which is usually microwave pancakes or scrambled eggs for Brady and Pierce.  God I wish these boys would eat cereal!  Supervise and beg Brady to eat at least 9 times.  Wipe down Pierce and get him out of high chair.  Feed Reid the 2nd side.  At this time it is usually 7:50 so I send Brady upstairs to brush his teeth, wipe his face and get dressed.  He comes down stairs and I try to spike his hair, pack his backpack and we all wait by the front door for the bus to come at 8:10.  Around 8:30 Reid gets swaddled and put in his swing for his morning nap.  Pierce is really done with his morning nap but if mama needs to shower he hangs out in his crib and babbles.  I pump sometime between showering and straightening hair.  Grab Pierce out of his crib about 10am and watch the beginning of Hoda and Kathie Lee.  Reid wakes up and I feed him.  Change both diapers.  Dress Pierce and we run some errands.  If its Monday, we hit wegmans.  Tuesday or Wednesday union hall, bank.  Thursday or Friday target to pick up food we have run out of since Monday and a few other things.  Home by 11:30 and we eat lunch, feed Reid again (see a pattern here?) and possibly watch a little 90210 and then some Roseanne.  Change diapers and make Pierce's bottle.  Everyone naps again by 12:30, and I usually clean, blog, pump again! shop online, check my email, write bills, etc.  Laundry also gets done somewhere in there.  I wash diapers every other day.  Some times I nap if the night has been particularly rough or make dinner.  Everyone is back up around 2:30, feed Reid and wait for Brady to get off the bus.  Daddy comes home around 3 and Brady's bus gets home at 3:15.  Steve is usually starving so some days we eat at 4:00.  Then its time to clean the kitchen, do the dishes, sweep, vacuum for the day.  Change diapers.  Play with the boys while Reid takes another little nap between 4:30 and 5:30.  6:00 is tv time, unwind and get the kids ready for bed, feed Reid again.  7:00 Daddy puts Pierce to bed because he has the magic touch.  I get to snuggle with Brady until 7:30 and then he goes off to bed.  I usually feed Reid for the last time around 7:15 and then he gets swaddled and in the swing.  Clean the family room and pick up toys.  Steve comes downstairs from putting Brady to bed around 8pm and we finally get some alone time :)  I fall asleep by 9 or 9:30 on the couch and Steve studies or plays some GTA5.  He wakes me up around 10:30 after he has carried sleeping Reid upstairs and put him in our room.  I pump, Steve takes his meds and then we head upstairs.  Reid wakes up once a night to nurse usually between 3 and 4 am.  And then the craziness starts all over again!  I have about 1 more week of this routine until I head back to the hospital.  And then I will be even busier - if that's possible! 

Sick Days

Brady has his first Kindergarten illness and I am surprised it has taken this long to get here. 

He was sick for the first 3 months in pre-k and I blame the fact that he never went to daycare.  Or should I call it school?  Have you noticed how everyone calls daycare school now?  I don't get it because 1 years olds do not go to school and have their diapers changed but whatevs.  I hate when my kids are sick as everyone else does.  I do like the extra cuddles and back rubs and kisses.  Yes I kiss m kids even when they are sick because I can't resist a good smooch!  However, giving the sick child all your attention is quite problematic these days.  Actually, I think it is the hardest thing about having 3 kids.  It seems impossible because there is always something to do for someone.  I would love to be able to snuggle up on the couch with Brady and watch movies all day.  But Pierce has become quite a monster lately and is into everything! and Reid likes to attach himself to me every 2 hours.  And why is it every time I get Reid latched on Brady wants something?  Now normally his requests can wait till we are finished but when he's sick I do want to jump up and get him a freezie pop or tissue, etc.  I have taken my breastfeeding show on the go but it usually ends up interrupting the feeding and it ends earlier than it should. Steve thinks its hilarious that Brady wants him over me.  On top of taking care of Brady all day I get to hear the question "When is Daddy coming home?" over and over again.  It doesn't help when Dad comes home with a steel cage for Brady's wrestling ring.  I am definitely in last place over here!